Always judge people on their actions.
Remember, most people are liars (even good people lie to protect themselves), so never take words at face value.
A man knows within 90 days of the beginning of a relationship EXACTLY where the relationship will go. He has it already planned out. He knows if you’re his wife, he knows if you’re his ‘stringer girl’, he knows if you’re one of his side plates, etc etc. He has even picked out the reason for dumping you (men will choose a woman with a flaw…just to use that flaw later on in the relationship as an escape route…make no mistake…they chose you precisely for this flaw so they wouldn’t have to commit.)
If he hasn’t mentioned marriage within 90 days of the first date…RUN.
My Dad proposed to my Mom after 3 months. She refused, broke up with him, and ran off to Germany. He waited until she got back, then married her.
When a man wants to marry you, he will marry you.
After the second date, Nick would regularly plan out his wedding speech based upon our silly email conversations. I figured since he had the wedding speech written by our 4th date, there was going to be a wedding.
They always know.
If a man says ‘Ha! I’m never getting married!’ Then you simply walk away and leave him to his life of pathetic loneliness. And laugh 🙂 Always laugh 🙂
There’s a few ‘Black Swan’ exceptions to this rule—Autistic dudes…but even the exceptions to this Rule can EASILY be dragged to the alter. You just have to tell them ‘We’re getting married’ and then it’s fine.
I’ve heard stories…mythical stories…of men who live with women for years upon end and have kids and live like married couples without being actually married.
Well…I say these stories are ‘Mythical’ because I’ve known some of these couples:
Couple A: was actually married, before the kids, before two years a dating, they just didn’t tell anyone. Why? I don’t know. Well they told me so, I guess a lot of people knew. But if you asked her on the street she would say ‘No, we’re not married.’
Couple B: Man was cheating on his wife/girlfriend/whatever, and they essentially had an open-marriage. 3 Kids, totally cheating. I’m not sure she knew…but my hunch was that she does know and is totally cool with it.
Couple C: Old Hippy couple, both not particularly attractive. And this leads to my one and only Exception to the Rule:
The only time you can stay years and years with a guy and have kids with him and pretend to be married without being married…is if….*drumroll*
He’s not attractive enough to get anyone else.
That is the only time I’ve seen those relationships work. If the couple is just not that physically attractive…then they tend to stick together because…What other options do they have? No one else is going to fuck them!
But I think we all have higher aspirations than that. So get married.
I think the title says it all. I’m seeing far too many women discover that they can get a divorce, and have many days ‘off’ from parenting.
These women are divorcing perfectly good husbands and ruining their kids’ futures for NO REASON.
Parenting every other week, or getting ‘weekends off’ is not something you should be proud of.
Here’s the deal…when you become a parent (hopefully a stay-at-home mom), you are not going to have time to do anything you want. That’s just the way it is. You know that going into it. But here’s the deal…you get to have kids which is THE BEST THING EVER.
Do you think I’m stupid enough to think I’m going to be writing books while having a baby(ies) or toddler(s) around? No! It’s not going to happen. And that’s okay.
It’s ok not to accomplish ‘Things’ in this world because raising good, strong, healthy, moral kids is more important.
This post was inspired by a facebook post from a recent divorcee talking about all the spas she’s visiting on her ‘off from parenting duty’ days.
Ugh! Come on women!
I know we don’t have family to help us raise kids anymore, and many women work full-time. But that’s why it’s so important not to work full-time when you have children and to figure out creative ways of getting some alone time. It’s also why you want to raise your kids to be ‘quiet’ and sit still so when you are with your children they don’t drain your energy.
I think it’s their favorite thing to do in life. It’s kinda sad!
I have so many examples it’s almost unreal. I would love to list all the specific examples because then you’d really get to see the world through my eyes and maybe even reach my same conclusions. But I can’t give any specific examples, because I don’t know who reads my blog and because ratting people out is rude.
I can say generically that people who get Divorced love to encourage others to Divorce. Divorce is like cancer, once it gets rooted in a family tree it spreads like wild fire and kills off everyone else.
Women who get divorced (I include people who had children who didn’t make it down the aisle before breaking up in this category) for more ‘frivolous’ reasons (not cheating or affairs) tend to go after other people’s marriages. I’ve had several female divorcees take shots at my marriage. These women are in quarantine where they belong.
Pre-marital sex is another sin people love to spread, almost gleefully. Especially to children, spreading that sin to children is great fun for them. Sexualizing young children is a sinners life goal, it validates all of their bad choices.
I’ve committed one bad sin in my life. I committed it with a cynical knowledge of the present world and a ‘means to an end’ attitude. Do I repent? Yes. Do I encourage others to commit that sin? No. A sin only brings negative things into your life. Period.
So why do people encourage others to sin?
This is easy! The world is a hierarchy of people…with the best people at the top. And by ‘best people’ we don’t mean Hollywood actresses or rich people.
Best people are intelligent, happily married to one person for 50+ years, have a ton of kids and grandchildren, good careers, an option for the mother to stay-at-home because the man earns enough to support the family, no divorce, no pre-marital sex, no previous partners, no debt, no drugs, no marijuana, no drama…etc etc etc
Sinners are people who failed to obtain this dream and can’t admit it. They aren’t on the ‘Top of the Human Hierarchy’ and can’t deal with it. They are the B and C students who hate the A students. So instead of studying really hard for the next test, they try to get rid of the test…and sabotage the A students.
If they can convince the A students to ‘eat the poison apple’ then there will be no A students anymore and the B and C students will become the A students.
It’s Snow White…Snow White was the most beautiful girl in the land so the Queen tried to kill her so the Queen could be the most beautiful.
Sinners try to eliminate their competition.
Don’t fall for it.
This was an amazing comment I read on The Transformed Wife. I thought I’d share it on my blog because it was so good!
Dette var en fantastisk kommentar fra bloggen The Transformed Wife om at vaere et husmor. Jeg troede, jeg ville dele det med dig, fordi det var så godt!
Lori, I don’t know what it is like with older children because mine are still 10 and under, but I know that even if we didn’t homeschool, I should like to be at home when they returned because my children have a short term approach to processing life and if my husband and I miss a window to instruct them it will be a very long time before we get the same opportunity again or never at all. For example, when they are curious about something or highly interested in something, in their view, it’s urgent and important. If I am busy or tired or distracted and selfishly brush them off or ignore them, it is forgotten and the next time I bring it up (if ever) they listen out of obedience but without the same enthusiasm. Whereas when I answer their questions in real time, with as much enthusiasm, they hang on my every word, they don’t forget my instruction and they are able to paraphrase my words accurately to their father when he comes home at the end of the day. It’s surprising how profound some of their little questions can be. Some have driven me to searching the Word of God for answers. Others have driven me to repentance.
I pray for the wisdom to recognize these precious moments and to rise above any selfish tendencies within me, in order to respond to the umpteenth “Mama, mama….” even at the end of the day.
Having a job outside the home would have me running on empty and unable to minister to my children beyond the physical needs yet it is their precious souls that will never die.
Looking at these photos was hard. I’ve gained so much weight, my body is becoming a middle-aged square box, and my face is one big giant puffball of fat. Truly hideous. But sometimes to solve a problem, you have to confront it head on. So that’s what we are doing today.
A famous Japanese facialist said that as women age, they stop looking in the mirror. But her opinion was that as you age, you should look at yourself in the mirror even more because so much of ageing is preventable.
But it’s hard. Very hard. I have no excuses. I’m a self-employed housewife with a very flexible schedule, the only stress I have in my life is from our struggle to conceive. In fact, my weight gain is now the source of most of my stress and that’s not good.
Anyways, enough about my weight….I bought some new clothes! I got this lovely eyelet top from Vince Camuto. I think it is quite old, I just found it randomly on the rack for a very big discount. French Connection has a similar blouse that looks even better on me than this one, I am waiting for a sale. The sweater is from Lolly’s Laundry (Love it!) and the headband is from H&M (Love it also!) I got some cheap navy shorts from H&M to tie me over until I lose weight and can purchase something a bit more chic.
This Easter Sunday I’d like to share some of my favorite Choral Pieces:
I’m in a VERY PMS’ie mood right now. My PMS is so bad that I want to jump on a pagan stone altar and rip people’s hearts out.
I will share a very disturbing conversation that my husband and I had with someone over the last few months. This was the conversation:
“How is your girlfriend, Bob?”
Bob replies, “Fine. Our new apartment is great! But we’re already thinking of moving into something bigger. I’m even thinking of buying a house in a few years, in this neighborhood.”
In other words, Bob moved in with his girlfriend to reap Financial Benefits from her Salary. There was no engagement, no marriage…no love behind the decision. It was all about the benjamins, baby!
Thanks to his girlfriend, he now lives in a very nice apartment of which he could not afford on his own. Thanks to his girlfriend, he is now thinking of getting an even nicer apartment. And finally, thanks this is girlfriend, he may be able to buy a house one day.
Bob is not a man. Bob is not a man you should date, associate with, talk to, text, waste time on, certainly not have kids with or dream of marrying.
Bob does not love his girlfriend. He loves the financial benefits she provides him with.
So ladies, what is the first rule of a relationship?
Other then making sure he wants to marry you…Bob got a nasty ‘Dark Look’ on his face when I mentioned marriage…thus showing his true rotten soul.
The man pays. Always. You must live within the means of your man’s salary. The man’s salary pays for food, housing, electricity and life. If he can only afford an apartment, you live in an apartment. A van…you live in a van. If the woman works, her salary goes to a few fun things for herself (clothes so you don’t have to hear the husband bitch), pay for family vacations, and retirement.
Bob would be better off not having a girlfriend. If he could not get easy sex, he would be forced to ‘Man up’ and work on his career (and user attitude.) Then, after he has become A Real Man who can Afford a Family, then and only then should he be rewarded with a girlfriend.